I don’t want to say too much on the election except it’s embarrassing and humiliating and depressing and dispiriting. That and I don’t think it was a legitimate election. I am tired of hearing about mandates and a decisive win. A country divided. And so on. Kerry lost the Presidency by 150,000 votes and those votes might very possibly have been rigged. This makes me feel alternately abused and relieved.
We live in dangerous, dark ages, Jim Crow times right now. People believe in both Jesus and hate. We are an alcoholic country, drunk on a destructive version of God. We need to hit rock bottom, near dead in the gutter, before things will get better. We were attacked by Islamic fundamentalists and we voted a step towards our own American Taliban. This country was founded on the principle of Manifest Destiny so maybe this should be no surprise. I could call this growing pains but we are not growing fast enough--our spiritual intelligence is regressing.
What is called "moral values" are in fact immoral values. It is fucking ironic really. This country is crucifying itself. George Bush is the Golden Calf, the anti-Christ, whatever you want to call him--he is a darkly-spirited man. He represents pro-war and hate, a rapist of rational good will. Part of these "moral" values, I agree, is a sense of deep belief and Kerry did not display this nearly enough. I think he is a kind, giving, caring man but he lets his political machinations override his actual convictions. Yes, this election was a pro-Christian, anti-gay, pro-war referendum, but Kerry did not give a full sense of who he is as a person--this would have sold the non-zealots on his cause. He attacked Bush too much because he thought it was working. Then again, maybe it did work, and thousands of votes have been discarded.
What I look forward to is another Watergate, called Votergate, led by an out-of-work John Edwards. If Karma has any play in the world, and the real Gods aren’t dead (which they aren’t), something will happen to these people. Nixon went down two years after 72, the year of my birth. I also look forward to George Bush finally being held accountable for his policies. Even with Bush as President, 9-11 fades into the background as the days pass. He cannot bank on it in the same way again. If there is another terrorist attack, it will have far different implications this time around. If he fixes nothing and things do indeed get worse, as they are bound to, the non-evangelical Bush supporters are going to defect. That may be Kerry’s lasting legacy--shining the light on what Bush has done wrong.
After it is all over, I am still here. I appreciate and love my family even more. They are a beautiful juxtaposition to the crushing, heartbreaking disappointment I have been feeling. And we are not at the apocalypse yet. We are not at martial law, or civil war, and civilization breathes on. I have lived through 4 years of Bush and made it. Our health care premiums for my daughter are far too high but so far we’ve managed to afford it. I have more fodder for my novel. Maybe it’s good to have an enemy. At least now I can turn off the TV forever. If Kerry were President, I’d be watching his press conferences. I will totally ignore Bush as nothing he says has any relation to reality. All in all, I am proud to live on the blue left coast, away from the blood-red states in the middle of the country. I have never felt so at home in Los Angeles. Time to get back to my mind and keep writing.
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