November 3, 2006

End?

It’s kind of sad though, stopping this thing. It’s been a pretty big part of my life for over two years. A lot has happened, but now I need the change. I feel like people have stopped being as interested since I got an agent. It’s like this blog was about a guy who was hard-up and suddenly got married; it lost its purpose. The blog was used to buoy the spirits of a writer who wasn’t as successful as he wanted, and a major issue was answered. That’s how I see it—it was around then that people stopped reading like they had been. Strangely, right when the blog became less important to me.

I feel like there’s some final thing I need to write down before the blog’s complete—like finishing a novel. But my life’s always unfolding, so there will always be something to put down here. Just don’t know if I will. I’ll still post reviews and whatever seems really important. I still like posting music here. But everyday blogs, I don’t know. I need to cut the umbilical cord.

When John Coltrane stopped doing dope—I think around 1960—his playing started getting far more piercing and soul searching. He wasn’t medicating the pain away, instead he used music to medicate it. Blogging is heroin. A quick fix of writing and response. All the energy I expend here should probably be put into my novel.

For all I know, I’ve written that thing about Coltrane before. It’s a pretty good lesson. That’s another reason I need to stop writing here. I think I’m repeating myself. Maybe everything from this phase of my life has been said, in one way or another. I think I’m going to write private journals now, a place I can be far more honest. I feel like I’ve done blogging. It’s liberating. To not have the obligation. Who knows, maybe I just need a new template.

14 comments:

Matt said...

Enjoyed reading your blog. Best wishes.

Cindy said...

Good luck. :( I was just getting back into my blog, and I'll miss the connection with you.

nathan said...

You sellout. I never thought i'd say that to you. You're quitting only because you percieve people as thinking you're a sellout. I don't know if that makes you a genuine sellout or a wannabe sellout. I don't know which one is worse. Who the hell am i going to read now? Tell me that Mr. Baum. When i get home from a hard days work - tired and exhausted - and I click that Ash Tree bookmark, right there under my damn address bar, and nothing new shows up, how do you think i'm going to feel? You might have hit the bigtime, but you've only proven that your a big phony. A big phony just like the actors who play The Lunts; as Holden Caulfield explains, "They didn't act like people and they didn't act like actors. It's hard to explain. They acted more like they knew they were celeberties and all... If you do something too good, then, after a while, if you don't watch it, you start showing off. And then you're not as good any more." But I forgot, you probably should know a thing or two about Phoniness and the Catcher in the Rye. Sellout.

Henry Baum said...

I'm not a sell out, I'm a quitter. I haven't sold anything.

nat said...

ummm - first off, i'd just like to be clear that the "nathan" commenting above is not me. especially if that's supposed to be serious. in the off-chance that it is: your impetus for stopping(putting energy, thought and passion into fiction rather than a blog) is of perfectly sound logic. anyway, just so you know, its one of the only blogs i've ever really read and i've really enjoyed it and found it thought provoking and fun. best of luck! - N

Tony O'Neill said...

Henry,
You got more good books in you. Sounds like you just need to take a break on this and concentrate on your writing. jesus man I sympathise. theres only so many hours in the day, especially when you have a kid. Just make sure you get to work on the American Book of the Dead, you know?

I found nathan's entry quite funny. probably not a writer if he assumes that by getting an agent you've hit the bigtime. no offence, but going from my own experience your still as broke as ever, right?

I'll miss your blog, but I'll enjoy reading your new book more I think. It's not a reflection on your blog. i think you got your drug metaphors mixed up though/ bloggings a little bit like crack. as a reader even - it's good for a quick fix, a jolt, but you cant do it full time. Its just not satisfying enough. The junk is in the books. thats the shit that keeps you coming back for more. I mean I read dennis Coopers blog religiously, but without the books, would I? I dunno. If he quit writing books and became a full time blogger, I dunno.

Full time blogger. Funny times we live in.

Anyway all the best Henry, keep in touch with me. Im just saying goodbye to your blogging persona anyway. Off to that big shooting gallery in the sky with Shirly shave and all the rest.

Adios, henry

kristopher young said...

but... but... I just got here! Not fair, not fair.

nathan said...

ok. ok. You're right. The blog has to go. You need to move on. This was free entertainment for the last year that i've read it anyway. Thank you for that. I like your music also. But i still think that you've got some megalomania inside your head. I still respect you though. I'd feel the same way if i got mentioned in Entertainment Weekly. But please willya just refer me to another good blog to read. I've got a vacancy now in my bookmarks and also in my heart. I will miss you dearly Mr. Baum.

Henry Baum said...

You’ve gotta have megalomania to spend months or years on a book and expect someone to spend money and time to read it. But, yes, I’ve got an ego and this blog might just foster it. Thanks for reading, everyone. I'm thinking of not stopping the blog entirely. Never say never. But I need to step away for at least six months.

As for other blogs, another reason I’m stopping is most of my favorite blogs have stopped as well. The old community’s gone. I need something to read too.

Heather said...

If only you'd take up knitting....

:)

Sorry to see you go.

Lesly Finn said...

Oh damn! Just found your blog and you've shut up shop. What a shame. Best of luck to you.

Natalia said...

I hope you come back, Henry.

Freudian Slip said...

This may be the end of a chapter for you, but you are now starting a new one. Write about that!
Matt

Guy Barry said...

so long,will you keep blogging?

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