1. I didn’t want to write a blog post explaining the reasons for my absence.
2. I was starting to hate the blogosphere. Surfing around and seeing the sites that are popular/get a lot of comments is depressing, no different than the books/movies that are popular.
3. Sick of seeing the nitpicking online. This blog has seen some of it. What causes people to go to someone else’s site and criticize them? The internet is full of it. Metafilter is terrible. Look at the comments on Youtube. One example. I looked up a Sebadoh video, titled “Sebadoh playing with a boombox.” The first comment was “It’s called a drum machine, not a boombox.” First, he/she was wrong. It was a boombox, not a drum machine, they were playing along with drums played to tape. Second, Why Bother. Not the best example, but it’s one of many. People nitpick each other to death, like we’re all part of a bad marriage. I’m doing the same thing by saying, Negativity sucks. But there’s a difference between having opinions on your own blog and attacking someone on their site.
4. Around the time of my birthday (June 29), my wife and I were fighting horribly. It did us some good and we’re much better for it. The fever broke.
5. I got sick of having opinions. It’s not so healthy to be so critical of everything. Not blogging isn’t quite curbing my appetite.
6. I’ve been seeing the Apocalypse everywhere. The Middle East isn’t helping. Went to Ojai the weekend before last. At the pool they were playing contemporary country music non-stop. I’ve never heard that many new country songs in a row. My thought—this is why George Bush can get elected—people can listen to music this brain damaged and think it’s meaningful.
7. My novel is about the Apocalypse—trying to put into words something I think could actually be occurring. Scaring the shit out me, blocking me. I waver in and out of enthusiasm for my novel.
8. I used to feel compelled to blog things the way I felt compelled to get things down in fiction. Like I had to. I thought blogging might detract from the other. In the past coupla weeks, I haven't been writing that much more fiction. I think this blog can be a warm up for the book, not suck my energy.
9. I’ve censored myself on this web site. Many of my more radical thoughts have been met with criticism or silence. I haven’t written half of what I believe in--demented things that I feel the need to qualify as demented. I’ll probably be posting more of it in the future.
10. Fatigue. Been doing this for 2 years.
11. Listening to John Coltrane’s Interstellar Space. I want to go there. How the hell do I go there?
12. One reason I’m back: I’m listed in this week’s Entertainment Weekly (Aug. 11) as the number one self-published novel. I wanted to write that down.
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