October 18, 2005

Spam

I’ve been getting more spam-like email from writers. Which is actually kind of flattering. I guess they get my email address from this blog. Someone from the L.A. Times sent me a link to a story. One writer is sending me a review copy of his book--first time for that. Another sent me a link to his book on Amazon. It seems like he’s doing pretty well. His book’s being translated into ten languages and the movie rights were bought by the producer of "Chicago," so I don’t know what he needs with my little 100-hit-a-day blog. He asked, so here it is: The Town that Forgot How to Breathe. The book looks interesting.

I don’t get a lot of strange referrals coming here like Banality Fair. Most of the stuff is on topic. And for some reason I don’t get any hideous porn spam like Okay Kabuki. Mostly I get offers for mortgages, money scams, and Viagra. The weirdest referrals I get are people coming here looking for "Tree porn."

16 comments:

Empty Drum said...

So you're saying you don't have access to any tree porn?

Joseph K said...

tree porn...it's the best kind...

Benny said...

I mean, if you were looking to pornify a tree, would you REALLY choose an Ash? Why not a thick, beefy, throbbing-torpedo Redwood?

Empty Drum said...

I admit to being something of an Ash man, myself....

Anonymous said...

i wrote a whole short story about a boy who had his first sexual experience with a tree... does that count?

Empty Drum said...

Not unless it's a true story.

exley said...

Tree porn is best when it's hard core. Though bushes are nice, too.

Benny said...

Oh my goodness, H. Baum, I actually have one of your songs stuck in my head! I was humming something catchy and couldn't figure out what it was-- I think this elevates you to obvious and apparent fame. Fortune, of course, to follow.

Natalia said...

mmmm... the wonders of dendrophilia...

there was this boy in high school. i liked him, but he didn't like me back, so i started calling him "dendrophiliac." unfortunately, he didn't know what it meant.

Henry Baum said...

I had to look up dendrophilia:

1. The love of trees.

2. In theory only, a paraphilic condition (sexual fetish) in which a person is sexually attracted to or interested in trees (possibly because of their phallic symbolism).

3. The worship of trees as symbols of fertility.

B, thanks a lot for that. From your mouth to someone's ears with a lot of money. Comments like that keep me addicted to this blog. That and discussions about tree pornography.

gaijin said...

if you've kept the same appointments i've kept, henry, you'd end up getting the "anatomy 101 porn" spam, too.

Empty Drum said...

You are all my slaves!

Empty Drum said...

Whoops, sorry about that last post; wrong blog....

Natalia said...

You mean you don't want me as your slave?

*pouting, etc*

RuKsaK said...

Remortgage your house over at my blog and you'll be able to afford all the tree porn you possibly desire:
http://ruksak.blogspot.com/

Empty Drum said...

You're. Only. As. Healthy. As. You. Feel.

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